


Or, that one time where they took a roadtrip and nobody died

by AmaranthineAmusement



Category: Blues Brothers (Movies), Homestuck
Genre: AU where sburb never happened I guess?, Gen, I wrote this a really long time ago sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 08:38:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3722359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthineAmusement/pseuds/AmaranthineAmusement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quote: "it's 106 miles to chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." - elwood, the blues brothers (1980)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Or, that one time where they took a roadtrip and nobody died

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for the homestuck shipping world cup 2013, please be forgiving.

It all started on saturday morning. You had been fighting an awful hangover ("I'm so fuckin' cool I never get drunk") and, on the way to the coffeepot, had noticed that egbert was awake.   
"Dude, the fuck. Why are you staring at me ok I haven't eaten any betty crocker all I want is a god damn cuppa caffeinated nirvana-"  
"Dave. I had the best idea for a prank."  
"You better not have messed with my black mistress theres no takebacks there."  
"Hehe. Nope! We're gonna go visit Rose and Jade!"  
"Hate to burst your bubble Egbert, but they're halfway across the country." You help yourself to some of that coffee. hot damn.  
"That's the whole idea!" He takes ahold of your shoulders. "We're going on a road trip!"  
"No, dude that is the worst fuckin idea since whoever decided to make icp we're gonna crash and burn so had that the entire universe is going to feel it.We're not doing it, that's final." You put on your shades.  
"Hey. Hey Dave."  
"The fuck?"  
"You know your bro's smuppets website?"  
oh. oh no he didn't.  
He smirks. "I wonder what rose would think about you having a gold membership?"  
"Whoa nonononono we're on the nope train to nopeland, ok, this is clearly breaking the bro code."  
He fills up a cup of coffee for himself.   
"I'm gonna go pack. Let's try to leave around seven, ok? And don't tell rose!"  
You watch him go into his room.   
fucking pranksters.

 

"Remind me why I'm driving again."  
"Cause I don't have my drivers license yet, stupid! There was a reason I had to bring you along, you know."  
"Egbert, I'm hurt- I thought we had something special! All this time, you were just using me?"  
He snickers. "Shut up and hit the gas! I'll navigate."  
"All right, All right."

 

"Are you sure we've been on this road before?"  
"Abso-fucking-lutely. I'm so sure that if god existed and could read signs he'd be saying 'dave, you go bro, you've been this way before'."  
"I think we should just ask for directions, I'm not quite sure I was using the right map." Egbert looks extremely confused. Fuck.  
"Nah, We're too cool to get lost."  
"Ehe. Maybe we're lost cause you didn't take your shades off, mister 'I'm too cool to follow the law'."  
"Hey, I'm handicapped. I'm too cool to live in this world without shades, you know. I'm saving you all from certain death by wearing these."  
"Please. I'm gonna go check to see if there's wifi. Maybe google maps can tell us where we are."

 

"Do you think we should get three packs of redvines or two king size packs of skittles?"  
"Egbert, do you seriously have to think about this.We just buy both, no problem. And maybe a few of those hostess cupcakes."   
You look around only to discover that he's magically disappeared.   
"Oh my goooodddddddd dave come over here!"  
You turn the corner to see him wildly gesturing at a pack of gushers. He lowers his voice to a whisper.  
"The batterwitch is everywhere."  
"Are you fuckin serious right now?"  
"She's got her sticky hands in everything! What do gushers even have to do with baked goods?"  
"Don't ask me, dude. My mind is too full of love for the hostess cupcakes a few aisles over."  
The cashier looks very confused when you check out. You give her an extra tip.

 

-ding-dong-  
"Wow their doorbell is weird as fuck."  
"Egbert I'm pretty sure thats your standard garden variety pretentious doorbell."  
The door opens.  
"John!!! Dave!!!"  
"It is wonderful to see you. Perhaps you could come in?"  
"Yeah! It's been forever!"

 

"Dave, I would like to speak with you for a second about a certain piece of information that John has given me."

Shit.


End file.
